The lets continue this thread...

optical mouse and magnifing glass and directed the focused beam at the priest. I grabbed my cousin, who's eyes had glazed over with the look of a fat woman on a Jenny Craige diet at an all you can eat buffet, and ran out the back door of my trailer. While attempting to tear of my clothes while running, my cousin caused me to trip and hit my head on one of my lawn flamingos which knocked me out. When I woke up I found...

[Evan]

...myself lying in bed naked with my naked cousins arms wrapped around me. my hands were tied to the bed posts when suddenly..

Originally posted by Evan
*gets off topic*

RC, that part about your "nearly topless juvenille cousin" is funny

I noticed the cop cuum priest standing at the end of my bed, with a ball gag in one hand, and a large peacock feather and Polaroid camera in the other. At his feat lay a gallon size bottle of KY jelly, and a leather motorcycle jacket with the name "Grace" airbrushed across its back in a blue-purple gradient. He mumbled something to himself that I couldn't make out, and then he .....

bitch slapped my cousin! Dammit! She may be a whore, but no one messes with my blood!

Being tied up, I couldn't do anything but I gave him the meanest look I could muster to let him know that I meant business.

Suddenly, the cop/priest of rape held his head and looked like he was in tremendous pain. He then staggered out of the room... and I heard a loud explosion a second later as priest parts rained into the room throught the door...

Did I do THAT?....

The scene drew forth long-repressed memories of my puppy when I was younger. "Do you like it when Scraps rubs up and down against your leg? Have you ever been to a Turkish Prison" . . . "No Daddy, no - please put down that egg beater . . . I swear I'll be good . . . I swear I'll teach Scraps how to behave!" Puppy . . . everywhere . . . can't . . . breathe . . . vision turning red.

Returning to teh present, I concentrated harder, and my bindings begain to soften and then melt away like ice cream off a virgin's ass. Now free from my captor, I grasped my cousin by the waist, looked her in the eyes and tried to think of how to tell her that I ...

was a mutant with the power to melt restraints and cause people to spontaneously combust.

"I'm a mutant. I have the power to melt stuff, cause human spontaneous combustion and maybe other stuff, too." I said.

"If it's possible, I'm even MORE attracted to you now," she said. "I want you now!"

Facing this, I ....

...called out to Dommy and his herd of grazing sheep "Doom! It's time to go! We must go! Grab your sheep, grab your lube, come on!!! The police are coming!"

But yet, Doom didn't respond, he stood there on all 4's with what looked like a sheep behind him up on its hind legs....I was dazed and perplexed....I pulled up my dockers, climbed off the step-stool, and headed towards doomy, as I walked closer I saw....

(OFF TOPIC)

"Godammit, man - get me some golf shoes,"

from RC, fear and loathing in las vegas? PM me if you want not to interrupt this thread again.

a daewoo (car company) 20 round drum clip auto shotgun( a real product) strapped on his back, I burst out into the driveway to see if he was driving a daewoo, he was! now I can see the commercial "daewoo, everything you need for a driveby" amazed at this new discovery I..........

... saw a large helicopter land in the middle of the street. It was black and sleek looking and had what looked like rocket boosters on the back and a pop out missile launcher on the bottom...

A military looking guy with a black flightsuit got out, walked up to me and said,

"Hi, my name's Hawk. I'm looking for 3 maybe 4 guys. They drive around in a black van with a red stripe on the side. One's older and smokes cigars, one has a mohawk and wears gold and one is crazy. Have you seen anything like this?"

"Well..."

......It didn't take long before I realized that the myth surrounding Gimsun weeds was actually true. Determind to stop my trip, and prevailing ateamassociantionphobia. I had only one choice, turn off my mind. With much discouragment from my three legged dog, I proceeded to injected myself with twenty cc's of Windex. What does a dog know anyways? .....

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Edit: Added Dictonary

Ateamassociantionphobia: The fear of viewing military movie scenes without the A-team.

Originally posted by (>Tool<)
(OFF TOPIC)

"Godammit, man - get me some golf shoes,"

from RC, fear and loathing in las vegas? PM me if you want not to interrupt this thread again.

<whispers> damn skippy! Nice catch - now tell me where the others came from!

... as I waited for my rapist-like wit to shut off, I looked at the back of the bottle.... "Hmm, Windex... made my Microsoft?!? Wait a minute, this stuff isn't for cleaning the plexiglass at the local peepshow! This stuff uninstalls win...."

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP---------------------------

I started to nod off as I felt the cool blue liquid begin to disinfect my veins. Everything started blurring together - the drama that had been unfolding this day came to me in flashes. My cousin with her arms reaching for me . . . the policeman whipping out his bullet-proof bible . . . Scraps . . . "No Scraps, No!"

Then just as I was about to slide into the warm and friendly embrace of a windex nod, leaving behind a world too cruel, everything felt like pins and needles. I sat up in a start and looked down at my chest to find a hypodermic needle plunged hastily into the region just above my throbbing heart. On the ground next to me I found a bottle of adrenaline. After a few seconds I regained control of my functions and looked around . . .