UN on Feb. 5th
- Doug the Unforgiven
by Doug the Unforgiven » Wed Feb 12, 2003 4:17 pm
Originally posted by Kristov
No Doug, Arklahoma isn't used around here.
Growing up on a working cattle ranch, I saw more biology and natural sciences at work then most kids ever see outside of college. Also developed on hell of a taste for fresh red meat..go figure. After raising pigs, I have very LITTLE taste for pork...if you've raised them, you'd understand.
Indeed, my dad had some pigs for a time. Good God they stunk. Fortunately he didn't raise pigs again. If we ever had a farm at all it was probably a speck of dirt compared to what you're used to.
I just got to run around in the woods alot all around our property, not to mention other family properties that bordered Ozark/Ouachita National Forests and small mountains on all sides.
Out there with only nature talking to you, that is if you can ever hear it over a pesky younger brother...
Sure as hell beats growing up in the city.
- Doug the Unforgiven
- El Cid
by El Cid » Thu Feb 13, 2003 6:49 pm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/2757047.stm This country is on the verge of internal collapse. I say we let stop supporting the commie bastard leaders (Kim Jong Ill) those tripe pieces of shit should be shot. Economic sanctions, stop aid, no more welfare for the Commie loosers.
- COL.BUKKAKE
by COL.BUKKAKE » Fri Feb 14, 2003 5:06 pm
I call on all Americans, At 9:00 P.M. Eastern Time, to walk into a local French restaurant, jump up onto a dining table (regardless of who is sitting there) procede to remove your pants and shit on whatever plate of food that happens to be occupying the area. This is to give thanks to our wonderful allies, who again today, told us to go fuck ourselves.
by SHWoff » Fri Feb 14, 2003 5:32 pm
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
by SHWoff » Fri Feb 14, 2003 7:43 pm
I figured most people had seen it already. I'm going to open a separate post just so it's not buried on page 11.
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll sit in the boat and drink beer all day...
- Ralph Wiggum
by Ralph Wiggum » Fri Feb 14, 2003 8:15 pm
From another e-mail I received. I am not the author, so Francophones, please keep any complaints in the closet. I am just the messenger:
French military history:
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly,widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,
surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fails after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
Observations: 1.)Going to war without the French by your side is like going deer hunting without your accordian.. You are leaving a lot of noisy useless baggage behind. 2.)Europe caused WWII by trying to appease Hitler during the 30's and refusing to enforce the Treaty of Versailles (see Iraq today)3.)With "friends" like this...Who needs enemies.
French military history:
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly,widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,
surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fails after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"
Observations: 1.)Going to war without the French by your side is like going deer hunting without your accordian.. You are leaving a lot of noisy useless baggage behind. 2.)Europe caused WWII by trying to appease Hitler during the 30's and refusing to enforce the Treaty of Versailles (see Iraq today)3.)With "friends" like this...Who needs enemies.
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