Some snappy answers to questions..

[Harry Canyon Profile]

Though some of you might like this.

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day", the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

Snappy Answer #6

A pompous minister was seated next to a TEXAN on a flight to Dallas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The TEXAN asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by ten whores than let liquor touch my lips." The TEXAN looked at the minister, then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

[Folic_Acid Profile ICQYIM]

I love #6

[WDPsellout Profile]

Originally posted by Folic_Acid
:lol: I love #6

I second that motion, and number #2 caught me off gaurd.

[Bagginses]

I'll have to remember and try out #3.

-Bagginses

[Camel toe joe Profile WebsiteYIM]

6 and 3 LOL

[Conscious* Profile]

ROFL nice Harry.

[NGame]

ha

[Hellacious Profile]

Nice Harry, But you didnt have to tell us what happen to you at the airport...

[Xenius]

5: Because I'm in college.
6: ROFL.

[Chacal Profile Website]

Last week at a lunch meeting:
Boss (looking around for a spoon): "Excuse me, did you put that spoon in your mouth?"
Me: "Yes, where else?"

[shockwave203 Profile]

Originally posted by Chacal
Last week at a lunch meeting:
Boss (looking around for a spoon): "Excuse me, did you put that spoon in your mouth?"
Me: "Yes, where else?"

perfect example of a failed attempt at humor

[{CN}Doomfarer]

Originally posted by shockwave203
perfect example of a failed attempt at humor

ouchies

[Chacal Profile Website]

It lost some punch in translation... oh well I guess you had to be there.

[Ralph Wiggum]

No. 2 and No. 6. I liked the spoon line Chacal.

[(SEETHER) Profile Website]

Like #5